CrossFit Quotes


By Jocelyn

Here are a few of my favorite CrossFit Quotes as well as CF West Moments:

“We do your stuff nearly as well as you do, you can’t do ours very well at all, and we can do everything we both don’t do better than you can. Not very humble, I know, but true.” –Coach Glassman

“Anyone who says that full squats are “bad for the knees” has, with that statement, demonstrated conclusively that they are not entitled to an opinion about the matter. People who know nothing about a topic, especially a very technical one that requires specific training, knowledge, and experience, are not due an opinion about that topic and are better served by being quiet when it is asked about or discussed. For example, when brain surgery, or string theory, or the NFL draft, or women’s dress sizes, or white wine is being discussed, I remain quiet, odd though that may seem. But seldom is this the case when orthopedic surgeons, athletic trainers, physical therapists, or nurses are asked about full squats.” –Mark Rippetoe

“What good is it to look like Tarzan and play like Jane?” -John Welborn, CF Football

“…Glucagon is critical for inslulin sensitivity. You need significant amounts of glucagon to be released consistently. In other works eating protein at every meal in order to normalize insulin levels. This needs to be a dense protein source. Find something that was living, and had a face and a soul, kill it and bring it’s essence into your person.” -Robb Wolf, nutrition guru

“I just… wanna… have fun.” –Josh Everett, while puking after a long distance run in preparation for the 2008 Games.

“Cliff, you have to get on top of me and get stiff.” -Jocelyn coaching Cliff while trying to do a human Turkish Get Up with him.

“It’s practically Zone perfect.” –Sam, rationalizing eating a Vallarta burrito, minus the rice and beans of coarse.

“Kyle, how much do you weight?”
“Damn, you’re a dense mother fucker! Cause you don’t seem that much bigger than me.”
–Jesse (5’3”), in disbelief upon hearing how much Kyle (6’2”), weighs.]

“I wish we had at least one mirror in here so you could see it.”
“See what Daniel?” (Jocelyn)
“You know, IT. What CrossFit does.” – Daniel shortly after the CF West grand opening

Wesley, are you writing down the weights in your journal?” (Kyle)
“No, I have a good memory.”
…moments later…
“Can you keep track of my rounds because I’ll forget?”
“No, I thought you had a good memory.” -Kyle and Wesley upon beginning a WOD

And the Ultimate:
“Basically anybody who’s takin it just for vanity reasons, who’s not a bodybuilder… It’s hard enough for the people who really do need to take it who need to find it, and there you are fucking takin it from them… then you got this fucking high school kid who just wants to have biceps buying it all up, ya know, mean while the guy fuckin training for the olympics can’t find his shit! Are you going to be a fucking patriot or not?” -Dave Tate on Steroid Use

And there are many, many more classics. Share em if you got em!

Workout (co-programmed by Kyle and Jocelyn):
AMRAP 3 min
Back Squat (135/95)
then immediately
1 rope climb
There are two parts to scoring: Number of reps completed as well as total time to complete AMRAP portion along with couplet.

*to scale sub 10 pull ups for 1 rope climb